Driving home from a breakfast with the most tender friends, when hurt is present, I am reminded, the struggle is beautiful.

We sipped coffee as we leaned into dark places. The tears welled up in our eyes, as the shadows of anxiety and fear crossed our faces. We shared in giggles and subversion. And, the sun sparkled on the lake while we basked in our heart-connection.

Yet, the pain was palpable. Our journeys co-mingled and shared in the exquisite experience of hurt.

Nothing is more beautiful to me.

Glennon calls it “brutiful,”

Buddhist philosophy encourages us, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

Dr. Susan David writes,

Our society and culture are urging us to find beauty in the vulnerability, struggle, and pain.

Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

Photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash

Here are three ways I find beauty in the hurt.

Remember my higher purpose

My higher purpose is to touch into grace, love, and community for the sake of children thriving. It is simple. I don’t have to worry so much about the little things when I have clarity about my daily purpose.

My hurt invites me to remember.

Redemption holds me up. I can feel its presence.

I practice.

Yesterday my practice looked like treasuring my team in practical ways, nourishing the journey of a mom and her son, and learning with my colleagues. Each part was pure grace. I am grateful to have breath and life, with the opportunities before me. I call it faith.

There are hard parts, painful bits, and biting accusations echoing in the hallways, but even in those, I am focused on my higher purpose.  It is my daily practice.

Treasure the value of every human being

No matter the pain, each human counts, is valuable, and longs for the same things. Each person filled with treasure; treasure in jars of clay. We will always have pain and beauty. The wounds and resurrection. Our worthiness is embodied.

Model what I want for children

Figuring out how to make sense of my hurt, express anger, disappointment, hurt, and vulnerability is hard. I stomp around making it more difficult for myself. I am ungracious. Then, I name my feeling, remember what matters most, and try to act on what is essential: model what I want for children.

I want children to be brilliant at relationships, authenticity, vulnerability, and courage.  I want children to be able to connect in meaningful ways, sustain relationships, and contribute in healthy ways to ‘community,’ always patient with the process. The future we cannot see will be led by those who are competent in these ways.

So, I must practice and learn. I must model for children. It is my best and highest contribution.

What hurt are you holding today? Where is the beauty in it?

For the sake of the children,


P.S. If you received anything from this blog post, I’d be grateful if you shared.